In a controversial new policy proposal, Senator J.D. Vance has taken a stand on what he perceives as a dire threat to the American way of life: the couchless couple. In a recent interview, Vance argued that couples who lack sofas are eroding the fabric of America, one loveseat at a time. “It’s time we...
In an unprecedented move that has left political analysts scratching their heads and linguists reaching for their whiskey, Ohio Senator J.D. Vance has announced a bold new criterion for presidential eligibility. According to Vance, any candidate whose name he and former President Donald Trump find too difficult to pronounce should be automatically disqualified from running...
In an unexpected turn of events, President Joe Biden has officially dropped out of the presidential race, leaving a nation of resourceful Republicans scratching their heads and getting creative with their now seemingly obsolete “Fuck Joe Biden” signs. Once a proud declaration of disdain, these signs are finding new life in the hands of the...
In a bold and highly questionable move, Sticker Mule has announced an unprecedented show of support for former President Donald Trump. The company is now offering half-price discounts on MAGA hats and Nazi flags for customers who use the promo code #letsgobrandon at checkout. In a press release that left many scratching their heads, Sticker...
Hollywood, CA – In an event that has shocked meteorologists, pop culture enthusiasts, and the LGBTQ+ community alike, beloved fitness guru Richard Simmons emerged from his self-imposed hibernation yesterday. In a bizarre twist of fate, he saw his own shadow, promptly announcing six more weeks of Gay Pride Month. Simmons, who has largely stayed out...