In a bold and entirely unexpected move, former President Donald Trump has reportedly blamed Democrats for the current economic woes, explaining that “if the Democrats had stolen this election, none of this would be happening.” Speaking from what aides described as a very confident chair, Trump clarified that the economy’s struggles are clearly the result of him not being in charge, which, according to him, is also somehow the Democrats’ fault. “They took something they didn’t take,” he said, “and now we’re all paying the price for it. Sad.”

Economists were quick to respond by checking their notes, then checking them again, before ultimately deciding to sit this one out. Meanwhile, Trump continued to expand on his theory, suggesting that inflation, gas prices, and even long lines at coffee shops are all part of a master plan that would have worked perfectly if only it had been executed by someone else. When asked what he would do differently, Trump replied, “Everything would be better already,” before adding that none of the current problems count anyway, because technically, in a scenario where he lost but didn’t lose, responsibility becomes optional.