TRUMP ASSURES AMERICANS HE’S IN TOUCH: “I KNOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH A GALLON OF EGGS COSTS”
PALM BEACH, FL — In a press conference held outside his gold-plated Mar-a-Lago breakfast buffet, former President Donald Trump took the podium Thursday morning to
America’s New Motto: “Stop Hitting Yourself”
In a bold rebranding move, the United States has unveiled its new national tagline: “Stop Hitting Yourself.” This comes in
JD Vance Licks Greenland, Claims It for Trump
In a bold display of foreign policy meets freezer burn, Vice President JD Vance traveled to Greenland, knelt down, gave
Elon Musk Asked to Point to Tesla Bot to Show Where Protestors Hurt Him
“Right here,” he sniffled, tapping the robot’s chest. “Right in the innovation.” In a moment that had Capitol Hill staffers
GOP Officials Sound Alarm Over Eggplant-Shaped Missiles After Reading Additional Texts
Washington, D.C. — In what can only be described as a stunning blend of national security panic and digital illiteracy,
Pete Rose Banned from Heaven After Being Caught Betting on His Own Dead Pool
Heaven (October 1, 2024) – In a stunning turn of celestial events, Pete Rose, the legendary baseball star who was infamously banned from Major League
Carolina Panthers MATHEMATICALLY Eliminated from 2027 NFL Playoffs
Charlotte, NC — In what has been described as a “bold new chapter in sports history,” the Carolina Panthers have become the first team to
Elon Musk Asked to Point to Tesla Bot to Show Where Protestors Hurt Him
“Right here,” he sniffled, tapping the robot’s chest. “Right in the innovation.” In a moment that had Capitol Hill staffers fighting back giggles and secondhand
GOP Officials Sound Alarm Over Eggplant-Shaped Missiles After Reading Additional Texts
Washington, D.C. — In what can only be described as a stunning blend of national security panic and digital illiteracy, several prominent GOP officials have
Ban of TikTok Will Force Thousands To Find Other Websites To Convince You That You Can Make A Watermelon Look and Taste Like Steak
TikTok—the beloved app that made viral watermelon steak tutorials a household phenomenon—is facing a potential nationwide ban, leaving Gen Z creators scrambling to find alternative
