Beijing, China – In an unprecedented and heartwarming show of camaraderie and self-care, the world’s most notorious SMS scammers have decided to put their work on hold to enjoy a week-long gaming binge of the newly released Black Myth: Wukong. The scam industry, usually known for its relentless pursuit of unsuspecting smartphone users with fake shipping notifications and “urgent” banking alerts, have taken a break to play the long-awaited Black Myth: Wukong single-handedly bolstering the Steam downloads and user rate.
“Everyone needs a break,” said Lin Wei, a veteran scammer with over a million fake IRS texts under his belt. “The grind gets to you after a while. You send out thousands of messages, but at the end of the day, you’re just staring at numbers on a screen. With Black Myth: Wukong, we get to stare at something a little more exciting, like mythical beasts and gorgeous landscapes.”
The decision to pause their activities came after a heated debate in various scammer WeChat groups. According to sources within these circles, the consensus was clear: nothing should stand between a dedicated scammer and their chance to wield the power of the Monkey King, especially not a workweek filled with monotonous tasks like impersonating tax officials.
Reports indicate that the release of Black Myth: Wukong has caused a noticeable dip in scam activities. Internet service providers and cybersecurity firms have observed a significant drop in phishing attempts and fraudulent text messages. In fact, one major provider reported a 50% reduction in spam texts in just the first 24 hours of the game’s release.
“This is actually great news,” commented Su Yan, a digital security expert. “Not only are people able to enjoy a brief reprieve from scam messages, but it also means the scammers are engaging in a form of harmless entertainment. It’s a win-win!”
Even the top executives in charge of these scam operations have endorsed the break. In a rare public statement, one anonymous leader of a large scamming syndicate declared, “We fully support our employees taking this time to relax and recharge. We believe that a well-rested scammer is a more effective scammer.”
As the week progresses, millions of smartphone users around the globe are enjoying peace and quiet, free from the usual barrage of fraudulent texts and AI photos of Asian women who need a friend. However, cybersecurity experts are cautioning the public not to get too comfortable. “Enjoy the quiet while it lasts,” Su Yan warns. “Because once this game is over or the next DLC is delayed, they’ll be back with a vengeance, refreshed and with a whole new set of tricks up their sleeves.”
For now, though, the world can breathe a little easier knowing that, at least for one week, even scammers need to have some fun. So, if you’ve noticed your phone is eerily quiet, don’t worry, it’s not a glitch. It’s just a horde of scammers enjoying the newly released Black Myth: Wukong.
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