Washington, DC – Marjorie Taylor Greene today denounced the Biden Administration for having done nothing to avert the extinction of...
Science & Technology
Donald Trump Watch Only Tells You Why Other Watches Can’t Tell Time
Donald Trump has unveiled his latest product: the Trump Timepiece™. This revolutionary watch has promised to redefine how we perceive time, not by telling it accurately, but by telling you why all other watches are complete and total failures. At a flashy press conference in Mar-a-Lago, Trump declared, “I’ve got the best watch, folks. The BEST watch. Everybody’s saying it....
Elon Musk Just Snatched the Top Spot on Forbes’ Creepiest Billionaire List—Mark Zuckerberg’s Tears are Digital
Move over, Zuck, there’s a new creeper in town, and it’s none other than Elon Musk! That’s right, the man who once challenged Vladimir Putin to single combat over the fate of Ukraine has now bested Mark Zuckerberg to claim the number one spot on Forbes‘ illustrious “Creepiest Billionaire” list. It’s been a nail-biting race, but Musk, who has never...
Chinese SMS Scammers Take a Well-Deserved Break to Play Black Myth: Wukong During Release Week
Beijing, China – In an unprecedented and heartwarming show of camaraderie and self-care, the world’s most notorious SMS scammers have decided to put their work on hold to enjoy a week-long gaming binge of the newly released Black Myth: Wukong. The scam industry, usually known for its relentless pursuit of unsuspecting smartphone users with fake shipping notifications and “urgent” banking...
President Biden’s Newest Challenge: The TV Remote
Washington, D.C. – In a series of events that has captivated the White House staff, President Joe Biden has found himself in a battle of wits with a formidable opponent: the TV remote. With Vice President Kamala Harris hitting the campaign trail, the Commander-in-Chief is left to navigate the treacherous waters of modern technology solo, and let’s just say, the...
Featured Stories
Thousands Boast Plan To Save Money By Not Paying Bills While Not Having A Job
In a world where financial wizardry meets unemployment chic, a growing trend is taking the internet by storm. Thousands of...
World Glances Up From Phones, Shrugs, and Resumes Scrolling
In a surprising turn of events today, the entire world collectively tore its gaze away from its beloved screens, only...
Marjorie Taylor Greene Say Biden Did Nothing to Stop Dinosaur Extinction
Washington, DC – Marjorie Taylor Greene today denounced the Biden Administration for having done nothing to avert the extinction of...
New Evidence Shows Donner Party Victims of High Protein Diet
Documents recently discovered by historians at Stanford University reveal that members of the famed Donner Party did not eat their...
Henry Kissinger Taken Back To How Hot And Flamey Heaven Is
In a surprising turn of celestial events, former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger was taken aback upon his arrival in...
Geneva Convention Moved to Las Vegas
Geneva, Switzerland – Swiss tourism professionals got the bad news yesterday that the Geneva Convention, the world’s oldest and largest...
George Santos Happy He Can Spend More Time On Things Like Family, Cooking, and Federal Prison
In a surprising turn of events, George Santos, the recently expelled congressman, is thrilled about his newfound freedom from the...
Trump Claims He Is Immuned To The Laws Of Physics
Former President Donald Trump has declared that he has transcended the laws of physics and is now officially immune to...