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Donald Trump Watch Only Tells You Why Other Watches Can’t Tell Time

Donald Trump Watch Only Tells You Why Other Watches Can’t Tell Time

Donald Trump has unveiled his latest product: the Trump Timepiece™. This revolutionary watch has promised to redefine how we perceive time, not by telling it accurately, but by telling you why all other watches are complete and total failures. At a flashy press conference in Mar-a-Lago, Trump declared, “I’ve got the best watch, folks. The BEST watch. Everybody’s saying it....

Elon Musk Just Snatched the Top Spot on Forbes’ Creepiest Billionaire List—Mark Zuckerberg’s Tears are Digital

Elon Musk Just Snatched the Top Spot on Forbes’ Creepiest Billionaire List—Mark Zuckerberg’s Tears are Digital

Move over, Zuck, there’s a new creeper in town, and it’s none other than Elon Musk! That’s right, the man who once challenged Vladimir Putin to single combat over the fate of Ukraine has now bested Mark Zuckerberg to claim the number one spot on Forbes‘ illustrious “Creepiest Billionaire” list. It’s been a nail-biting race, but Musk, who has never...

Chinese SMS Scammers Take a Well-Deserved Break to Play Black Myth: Wukong During Release Week

Chinese SMS Scammers Take a Well-Deserved Break to Play Black Myth: Wukong During Release Week

Beijing, China – In an unprecedented and heartwarming show of camaraderie and self-care, the world’s most notorious SMS scammers have decided to put their work on hold to enjoy a week-long gaming binge of the newly released Black Myth: Wukong. The scam industry, usually known for its relentless pursuit of unsuspecting smartphone users with fake shipping notifications and “urgent” banking...

President Biden’s Newest Challenge: The TV Remote

President Biden’s Newest Challenge: The TV Remote

Washington, D.C. – In a series of events that has captivated the White House staff, President Joe Biden has found himself in a battle of wits with a formidable opponent: the TV remote. With Vice President Kamala Harris hitting the campaign trail, the Commander-in-Chief is left to navigate the treacherous waters of modern technology solo, and let’s just say, the...

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