In a world where financial wizardry meets unemployment chic, a growing trend is taking the internet by storm. Thousands of...
The Opinion Pages
New Evidence Shows Donner Party Victims of High Protein Diet
Documents recently discovered by historians at Stanford University reveal that members of the famed Donner Party did not eat their...
George Santos Happy He Can Spend More Time On Things Like Family, Cooking, and Federal Prison
In a surprising turn of events, George Santos, the recently expelled congressman, is thrilled about his newfound freedom from the...
In Food
EggNog Votes American’s 8th Favorite Nog
In a stunning turn of events, the highly prestigious Nog Institute of America has just released its annual Nog Rankings,...
Fruity Revelation: Gen Z Discover Only Ingredient in Fruit Is More Fruit
Gen Z is reeling from a discovery that has left them questioning the very essence of their favorite snacks. Brace...
In Fashion & Style, Lifestyle, Main
Girl Wishes Happy Birthday to 10-Year-Old Dating Profile Picture
“Happy birthday, my eternal wingman!” Sarah exclaimed, tapping her phone screen with glee. “You’ve been catfishing potential suitors for a...
Trump Finally Reveals Dark Childhood Trauma Behind Plastic Straw Ban
In a shocking revelation that has rocked the political landscape, former President Donald J. Trump has finally admitted why he...
Elon Musk Celebrates “Bring Your Kid to the Presidential Coup Day” at the White House
X AE A-12 Declares Himself Supreme Overlord of America, Tells Trump to “Shut Your Mouth” WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what...
250 MILLION AMERICANS SCREAM “BINGO!” AS TRUMP SPEEDRUNS THE APOCALYPSE
In an event that will go down in history as either the loudest synchronized scream or the final desperate cry...
Trump Determinded to Make ‘Mericans as Dumb As Him, Or More Dumber
In a move that left educators scratching their heads and late-night comedians rubbing their hands in glee, President Trump unveiled...
Trump’s First Executive Order: Granting Himself A Kagillion More Executive Orders
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On his very first day as President, Donald J. Trump made history yet again. In a move...
National Flags to Fly at Half-Flaccid for the Next Four Years
The Department of State announced today that all U.S. flags—state and national—will fly at “half-flaccid” to honor the inauguration of...
Trump Finally Reveals Dark Childhood Trauma Behind Plastic Straw Ban
In a shocking revelation that has rocked the political landscape, former President Donald J. Trump has finally admitted why he...
Elon Musk Celebrates “Bring Your Kid to the Presidential Coup Day” at the White House
X AE A-12 Declares Himself Supreme Overlord of America, Tells Trump to “Shut Your Mouth” WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what...
250 MILLION AMERICANS SCREAM “BINGO!” AS TRUMP SPEEDRUNS THE APOCALYPSE
In an event that will go down in history as either the loudest synchronized scream or the final desperate cry...
Trump Determinded to Make ‘Mericans as Dumb As Him, Or More Dumber
In a move that left educators scratching their heads and late-night comedians rubbing their hands in glee, President Trump unveiled...
Trump’s First Executive Order: Granting Himself A Kagillion More Executive Orders
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On his very first day as President, Donald J. Trump made history yet again. In a move...
National Flags to Fly at Half-Flaccid for the Next Four Years
The Department of State announced today that all U.S. flags—state and national—will fly at “half-flaccid” to honor the inauguration of...