
JD Vance Licks Greenland, Claims It for Trump
April 1, 2025
In a bold display of foreign policy meets freezer burn, Vice President JD Vance traveled to Greenland, knelt down, gave the ice a hearty lick,

Elon Musk Asked to Point to Tesla Bot to Show Where Protestors Hurt Him
March 31, 2025
“Right here,” he sniffled, tapping the robot’s chest. “Right in the innovation.” In a moment that had Capitol Hill staffers

GOP Officials Sound Alarm Over Eggplant-Shaped Missiles After Reading Additional Texts
March 28, 2025
Washington, D.C. — In what can only be described as a stunning blend of national security panic and digital illiteracy,

Trump Outraged by “Ugly” Portrait in His Bathroom, Turns Out It Was Just a Mirror
March 27, 2025
In a furious rant early Tuesday morning, former President Donald Trump demanded the immediate removal of what he called a

Pete Hegseth Launches New Site ‘WhiskeyLeaks’
March 26, 2025
“It’s not a leak if you shout it into a whiskey glass,” says Hegseth. In what Pentagon officials are calling