Trump Declares Plan to Reopen Azkaban, Citing Threat of ‘Dark Magic’ in Opposition
President Donald J. Trump announced today his intention to reopen the prison Azkaban, asserting that those opposing his administration are under the influence of “dark
Republicans Demand Apology After Trump Caught Sleeping at Pope’s Funeral: “See? He Sleeps Next to Melania!”
Republicans are calling on Democrats to retract years of speculation about the state of Donald and Melania Trump’s marriage after
Pete Hegseth Accidentally Scribbles Top Secret War Plans on TGI Fridays Receipt After One Too Many Double Berry Mojitos
In what Pentagon officials are calling “an unhelpful but somehow completely on-brand incident,” Trump ally and White House “special military
Democrats Unveil Bold 12-Point Plan to Announce Future Plans to Possibly Consider a Plan to Stop Trump
In a triumphant display of vague ambition and master-level PowerPoint transitions, the Democratic National Committee proudly announced a new 12-Point
Vice President JD Vance Fumbles Trophy, Claims Lack of Prior Trophy Experience
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President JD Vance found himself at the center of a viral moment after dramatically fumbling the
Vice President JD Vance Fumbles Trophy, Claims Lack of Prior Trophy Experience
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President JD Vance found himself at the center of a viral moment after dramatically fumbling the Ohio State Buckeyes’ championship trophy
Pete Rose Banned from Heaven After Being Caught Betting on His Own Dead Pool
Heaven (October 1, 2024) – In a stunning turn of celestial events, Pete Rose, the legendary baseball star who was infamously banned from Major League
Carolina Panthers MATHEMATICALLY Eliminated from 2027 NFL Playoffs
Charlotte, NC — In what has been described as a “bold new chapter in sports history,” the Carolina Panthers have become the first team to
Elon Musk Asked to Point to Tesla Bot to Show Where Protestors Hurt Him
“Right here,” he sniffled, tapping the robot’s chest. “Right in the innovation.” In a moment that had Capitol Hill staffers fighting back giggles and secondhand
GOP Officials Sound Alarm Over Eggplant-Shaped Missiles After Reading Additional Texts
Washington, D.C. — In what can only be described as a stunning blend of national security panic and digital illiteracy, several prominent GOP officials have
Ban of TikTok Will Force Thousands To Find Other Websites To Convince You That You Can Make A Watermelon Look and Taste Like Steak
TikTok—the beloved app that made viral watermelon steak tutorials a household phenomenon—is facing a potential nationwide ban, leaving Gen Z creators scrambling to find alternative
