Former President Donald Trump has declared that he has transcended the laws of physics and is now officially immune to the constraints of the physical world. In a press conference that left journalists scratching their heads, Trump confidently announced, “I am no longer bound by the laws of physics. I’m like a superhero, folks. Call...
In a stunning turn of events, the highly prestigious Nog Institute of America has just released its annual Nog Rankings, and guess who cracked the top ten? That’s right, egg nog! In a surprising upset, egg nog has been voted America’s 8th favorite nog, beating out lesser-known contenders like almond nog and coconut nog. The...
In a surprising turn of events, George Santos, the recently expelled congressman, is thrilled about his newfound freedom from the shackles of Capitol Hill. While most politicians would be devastated by such a setback, Santos has embraced the opportunity to focus on more important things in life—like family, cooking, and, of course, the impending federal...
Geneva, Switzerland – Swiss tourism professionals got the bad news yesterday that the Geneva Convention, the world’s oldest and largest trade show devoted to war crimes, has been moved to Las Vegas for the next three years. “Geneva has been good to us, but Vegas made us an offer that we just couldn’t refuse,” said...
In a surprising turn of celestial events, former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger was taken aback upon his arrival in heaven to find it not quite the pearly gates and fluffy clouds he had envisioned. Instead, he was welcomed by a rather toasty atmosphere, with celestial flames flickering in the distance. Reports suggest that Kissinger,...
Documents recently discovered by historians at Stanford University reveal that members of the famed Donner Party did not eat their friends and family members out of desperation, as has been the belief, but rather because they were on a high-protein diet. The Donner Party became hopelessly lost in 1846 on their way out west and...
Washington, DC – Marjorie Taylor Greene today denounced the Biden Administration for having done nothing to avert the extinction of the dinosaurs. Senator Mitch McConnell, of Kentucky, ranking member on the Senate Dinosaur Extinction Oversight Panel, says that the Biden Administration came into office with no clear plan for dealing with nuclear-winter-causing giant meteors. “The...
In a surprising turn of events today, the entire world collectively tore its gaze away from its beloved screens, only to be met with an underwhelming reality that left many unimpressed. It was a momentous occasion that sparked a global ‘meh’ heard ’round the world. People from every corner of the globe paused, their eyes...
In a world where financial wizardry meets unemployment chic, a growing trend is taking the internet by storm. Thousands of people are proudly announcing their master plan to save hundreds of dollars every month by boldly not paying their bills. Who needs a job when you can be a budgeting maverick, right? The “Not-a-Bill-Payer” Movement...
Broken Newz right before it went on a long map In the ever-evolving landscape of online satire, there’s a familiar name making headlines once again. After a prolonged hiatus, Broken Newz has emerged from the depths of internet history, ready to reclaim its throne as a pioneer in the world of satire news. Founded in...