P. Diddy Changes Name Again in Attempt to Escape Legal Troubles: “I Am Now… Probably Not Diddy”
The artist formerly known as Puffy, Puff, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, and, most recently, Love, has decided to change his name yet again in hopes of dodging his current legal issues. Sources close to the hip-hop mogul say Sean Combs, or whatever he’s calling himself today, believes a new identity might confuse the court system—perhaps just enough for him to slip through the cracks.
“I’ve been too recognizable,” Combs allegedly told reporters in a hastily arranged press conference. “Every time I turn around, it’s ‘Puff this, Diddy that.’ I need a fresh start… a fresh name. One that just screams ‘I’m innocent and definitely not the guy you’re looking for.'”
Rumors have swirled regarding the possible new moniker for the music icon, with insiders hinting he’s been testing out several options. Some of the top contenders include:
- Sir Not Diddy
- Mr. That-Wasn’t-Me
- Innocent Puffington III
- The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As P. Diddy
- Unrelated Sean
- Guy Who Looks Like Diddy But Isn’t
- Squeaky Clean Combs
- Definitely Not P. Diddy
Combs’ legal team has declined to comment on how a name change could impact his legal strategy, but one insider suggested that the rapper’s plan is to create so much confusion that judges will eventually ask, “Wait, which Diddy is this? Is this the new Diddy or the old Diddy? Are we even still talking about Diddy?”
Fans, meanwhile, are left baffled but not surprised. “I mean, at this point, I just call him ‘Whatever Diddy He Feels Like That Day,'” said one loyal fan. “But if he thinks ‘Sir Not Diddy’ will get him out of trouble, more power to him.”
The announcement has left legal analysts scratching their heads. “This is unprecedented,” said one expert. “But so were most of his other name changes. If nothing else, it shows that P. Diddy, or Puff, or Love—whatever—is still innovating, even in the courtroom.”
When asked what might come next if this latest rebranding effort doesn’t work, Combs reportedly winked and said, “Well, there’s always ‘Diddy McFly.’ No one can prosecute someone from the future.”
As of press time, court documents were being amended to reflect the artist’s name change, leaving the judge and opposing counsel to mutter, “I guess we’ll just have to Diddy with this.”
