In an unforeseen turn of events, fast-food giant McDonald’s has reported a significant decrease in sales as Americans finally come to grips with the revelation that experiencing diarrhea is, in fact, not enjoyable. Diarrhea Detractors Speak Out “I used to enjoy the thrill of eating a McDouble and playing the ‘Will I or Won’t I’...
In a stunning revelation that has left the nation collectively scratching its head, it turns out that birth certificates come with expiration dates! Cue the gasps, double-takes, and a resounding “Wait, what?” echoing across the land. As people flock to their dusty drawers and attics in search of this unexpected ticking time bomb, conspiracy theories...