History Archives - Broken Newz

Trump Staunchly Defends Photos of Lincoln Wearing Trump Shirt: “This is 100% Real, Folks!”

Steve Tanner on August 20, 2024

In a series of impassioned social media posts, former President Donald Trump lashed out at critics who questioned the authenticity of newly surfaced photographs depicting Abraham Lincoln sporting a bright red “TRUMP” shirt. The images, which Trump posted on his Truth Social account, have been met with widespread skepticism, with many claiming they are the product of artificial intelligence. But Trump insists that these photos are “100% true, believe me,” and that he personally knew the 16th President of the United States.

“People are saying these photos are fake. FAKE NEWS! It’s so sad, really. You know, I was very good friends with Abraham Lincoln—great guy, amazing guy. We used to talk all the time, he loved my shirts,” Trump declared in a video message that has since gone viral. “The dishonest media and the radical left are trying to tell you these pictures aren’t real, that they’re made by some robot. But you know what? They’re wrong. These pictures are as real as it gets, folks.”

Trump went on to reminisce about his close relationships with other historic figures. “I was also good friends with George Washington, probably one of the best Presidents after me. We talked strategy all the time—how to win, how to build big, beautiful things like the Washington Monument, which I hear they might rename after me one day. And don’t forget that other President, the one who started all those great wars—fantastic guy. They all loved me, folks. They really did.”

Despite the mounting evidence that the Lincoln photos were, in fact, digitally manipulated, Trump remains undeterred. “I don’t know who’s saying these are AI, but they’re wrong, okay? I mean, I can tell you right now, Lincoln was a big fan of mine. He would have worn that shirt proudly, just like he wore that top hat. And I’ve got more photos coming, by the way. You’re going to love them.”

In a follow-up post, Trump shared another “historic” image, this time of George Washington holding a “Trump 2024” sign while crossing the Delaware River. “Washington always knew how to pick a winner,” Trump wrote in the caption. “Just like I did in 2016, 2020, and soon again in 2024.”

Historians and experts in digital manipulation have been quick to dismiss the images as blatant fabrications, but Trump’s supporters are rallying behind him, insisting that the mainstream media is simply trying to discredit yet another “great Trump achievement.”

“It’s just like when they said the election was rigged,” said one ardent Trump supporter outside Mar-a-Lago. “They’ll do anything to bring him down, but we know the truth. Lincoln would have worn that shirt, and Washington would have crossed the Delaware with a Trump sign. It’s all in the history books—they just don’t want you to see it.”

As Trump’s claims continue to spread, one thing is clear: in the ever-expanding universe of Trump’s reality, history is whatever he says it is. And who’s to say otherwise? After all, as Trump himself might put it: “When you’re a winner, the past, the present, and the future—they’re all yours to rewrite.”

New Evidence Shows Donner Party Victims of High Protein Diet

Steve Tanner on November 29, 2023

Documents recently discovered by historians at Stanford University reveal that members of the famed Donner Party did not eat their friends and family members out of desperation, as has been the belief, but rather because they were on a high-protein diet.

The Donner Party became hopelessly lost in 1846 on their way out west and had to camp in the snow and wilderness with, it has previously been claimed, no food or water. Forced to fend for themselves, it has been believed, they ate their own in order to survive the harsh winter.

“In fact,” says historian David Grimly-Smith of Stanford’s American history department, “we have discovered that the Donner Party had with them four hundred pounds of rice, one hundred pounds of macaroni and three hundred and fifty loaves of fresh baked cinnamon bread.”

However, Grimly-Smith says, documents uncovered — including letters and diaries — in the woods of California “positively indicate that the Donner family and the people they were traveling with were actually on a 19th century version of the Atkins diet.

They simply did not want to carbo-load.

This changes our view of American history entirely. Here we had thought the high-protein craze started in the 1970s and was most popular among celebrities and the wealthy. Now we see it was around in the mid 19th century and was even in vogue among the general populace. A lot of textbooks are going to have to be rewritten, let me tell you.”