Valdosta, GA — The International Donut and Pastry League (IDPL) announced today that they are suing JD Vance, vice presidential candidate and author of “Hillbilly Elegy,” for what they call an “unprecedented attack” on the sex appeal of donuts. The lawsuit comes on the heels of a disastrous photo-op in Valdosta, Georgia, where Vance’s attempts...
In what can only be described as a tragic defeat for the pillow tycoon turned political crusader, Mike Lindell, CEO of MyPillow, was recently caught on camera losing a tussle with a 12-year-old child at the Democratic National Convention (DNC). But while the liberal media has been quick to air the footage of this humiliating...
“If I haven’t seen my own penis in six years, there’s no way he could have.” Palm Beach, FL – Former President Donald Trump is reportedly livid after a recent joke made by Barack Obama about his supposed inability to see his own penis, leading to an uncharacteristically personal feud between the two former commanders-in-chief....
In a series of impassioned social media posts, former President Donald Trump lashed out at critics who questioned the authenticity of newly surfaced photographs depicting Abraham Lincoln sporting a bright red “TRUMP” shirt. The images, which Trump posted on his Truth Social account, have been met with widespread skepticism, with many claiming they are the...
In a bizarre twist that only George Santos could deliver, the former Congressman from New York’s 3rd District is reportedly set to plead guilty to federal charges today. But there’s a catch—Santos has informed prosecutors that they might have a tough time seeing him in court. Why? Because, according to him, he’s now invisible. Yes,...
In a recent press conference that left the nation scratching its collective head, Senator J.D. Vance made an impassioned plea for the American public to stop comparing him to himself. The Ohio senator, known for his ever-shifting positions and baffling public statements, expressed frustration that the media and the public insist on holding him accountable...
New York, August 2024 – In a move that has taken the fashion world by storm, former President Donald Trump has unveiled his latest venture: a high-end clothing line that has his supporters ready to empty their wallets. The collection, aptly named “The Emperor’s Attire,” features a range of luxurious garments that, according to Trump,...
alike have been left speechless by the revelation. “I was fully prepared for another bizarre plot twist in his latest movie,” said film critic Jenna Faraday, “but the real shocker is that there’s another movie to review at all! It’s like I’m living in an M. Night Shyamalan movie!” The surprise twist came during the...
Washington, D.C. – In a series of events that has captivated the White House staff, President Joe Biden has found himself in a battle of wits with a formidable opponent: the TV remote. With Vice President Kamala Harris hitting the campaign trail, the Commander-in-Chief is left to navigate the treacherous waters of modern technology solo,...
In what was initially thought to be a major cyber breakthrough, Iranian hackers recently claimed to have successfully breached the email account of former U.S. President Donald Trump. However, instead of uncovering state secrets or international conspiracies, the hackers found themselves in a bizarre situation—Trump’s entire email history consisted of just one message, forwarded thousands...