“If I haven’t seen my own penis in six years, there’s no way he could have.” Palm Beach, FL – Former President Donald Trump is reportedly livid after a recent joke made by Barack Obama about his supposed inability to see his own penis, leading to an uncharacteristically personal feud between the two former commanders-in-chief....
In a series of impassioned social media posts, former President Donald Trump lashed out at critics who questioned the authenticity of newly surfaced photographs depicting Abraham Lincoln sporting a bright red “TRUMP” shirt. The images, which Trump posted on his Truth Social account, have been met with widespread skepticism, with many claiming they are the...
In a bizarre twist that only George Santos could deliver, the former Congressman from New York’s 3rd District is reportedly set to plead guilty to federal charges today. But there’s a catch—Santos has informed prosecutors that they might have a tough time seeing him in court. Why? Because, according to him, he’s now invisible. Yes,...
In a recent press conference that left the nation scratching its collective head, Senator J.D. Vance made an impassioned plea for the American public to stop comparing him to himself. The Ohio senator, known for his ever-shifting positions and baffling public statements, expressed frustration that the media and the public insist on holding him accountable...
New York, August 2024 – In a move that has taken the fashion world by storm, former President Donald Trump has unveiled his latest venture: a high-end clothing line that has his supporters ready to empty their wallets. The collection, aptly named “The Emperor’s Attire,” features a range of luxurious garments that, according to Trump,...
Washington, D.C. – In a series of events that has captivated the White House staff, President Joe Biden has found himself in a battle of wits with a formidable opponent: the TV remote. With Vice President Kamala Harris hitting the campaign trail, the Commander-in-Chief is left to navigate the treacherous waters of modern technology solo,...
In what was initially thought to be a major cyber breakthrough, Iranian hackers recently claimed to have successfully breached the email account of former U.S. President Donald Trump. However, instead of uncovering state secrets or international conspiracies, the hackers found themselves in a bizarre situation—Trump’s entire email history consisted of just one message, forwarded thousands...
Former President Donald Trump took aim at Minnesota Governor Tim Walz for what he described as a “glaring lack of commitment to presidential aesthetics.” “Look at Tim Walz. Have you ever seen a more unprepared candidate?” Trump said, gesturing to a blown-up image of Walz’s makeup-free face. “No foundation, no eyeliner, not even a touch...
Columbus, OH – In a surprising twist, JD Vance’s wife has stepped forward to clarify her husband’s recent controversial comments about women who don’t have children. According to her, Vance’s remarks were not aimed at women who are unable to have children, but rather a specific subset of women he believes are deserving of criticism....
In a controversial new policy proposal, Senator J.D. Vance has taken a stand on what he perceives as a dire threat to the American way of life: the couchless couple. In a recent interview, Vance argued that couples who lack sofas are eroding the fabric of America, one loveseat at a time. “It’s time we...