MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — In an unprecedented surge of user activity, Google has reported the highest volume search term in the company’s history following former president Donald Trump’s unexpected reelection victory. The leading query? “Holy fucking shit what just happened did he get reelected how do I buy a house in Canada?” closely followed by the second-highest search term, “where do I watch Great British Bake Off?”

“Every election sees a spike in searches,” says Google spokesperson Sarah Lambert, “but we’ve never seen anything quite like this. People are just… coping, I think, and looking to relocate. Or maybe bake.”

According to Google Trends, the surge was first detected around 10 p.m. ET, when news broke that Trump had taken the lead. The term “Holy fucking shit” was immediately flagged as “volcanic” in search volume by Google, with some users adding variations like, “is this real life” and “did he really win again dear god.” Search volume continued to rise as people grasped for information, including “how does one move to Canada without significant savings” and “how to survive Canadian winters (asking for a friend).”

Canada’s immigration website reportedly crashed for the third consecutive election cycle, and moving companies with branches in Vancouver, Toronto, and Montreal saw an unexpected surge in site traffic, along with calls from frantic Americans wanting to know if their dogs would need passports.

Some users simply went straight for comfort, as demonstrated by the second-highest trending search, “where do I watch Great British Bake Off?” which Lambert speculated might provide a temporary “escape into a peaceful, flour-dusted world of sponge cakes and ganache.”

Other top search queries from the night included:

• “can I buy a one-way plane ticket to Greenland”
• “is it too late to flee”
• “remote jobs for Americans with no wilderness survival skills”
• “would my cat enjoy Canada”

Political analysts note that the searches suggest a renewed interest in escapism, culinary therapy, and alternative citizenship options. Google has promised that, should interest continue, it will streamline search results to include vetted real estate agents, relocation guides, and quick links to watch Great British Bake Off legally in the U.S.

In a statement, the Canadian government advised Americans to “stay calm and wait it out,” noting that their immigration staff is “already quite tired from the 2020, 2024, and now 2028 elections.”