Hallmark has introduced a new line of greeting cards called “I Demand An Apology”. Sold in boxes of 500, Hallmark expects monthly net income to jump by at least 20%. If the political climate in Washington continues to deteriorate at its present rate net income could easily triple by the end of the year. Wanting to milk both sides of the political spectrum, Robert Blake, spokesperson for Hallmark, announced that they are test marketing another line of cards, primarily for Trumpers, called “Kiss My Ass”. Hallmark expects Ring Wingers will want to send these cards to anyone who disagrees with them, even some of their conservative base. Claiming that they’ve already received an order for 50,000 of these cards from the White House and a 100,000 order from Mar-a-Lago, Hallmark expects to roll these out to the general public in time for the Samuel Alito senate judiciary review.

Blake went on to say, “These new cards have temporarily delayed the rollout of our latest quirky cards such as, ‘Happy Digital Exam Day’, ‘Drink Till Ya Puke Day’, ‘Happy Cross Dressing Day’, and my personal favorite ‘Your Breath Reeks Day’.”

It’s no secret that ever since the ACLU and liberals put the kibosh on Christmas the greeting card industry has struggled with selling traditional and religious cards. Next year Hallmark is scheduled to release a revolutionary new concept in greeting cards. It’s a large card that lets you insert a card that you received. It’s called, “Here’s Your Card Back, Shove it Up Your Blue/Red State Ass”. Hallmark is betting that the growing division between red and blue states will make this card a perennial winner.