Idaho Governor Brad Little has recently noted that due to his success in restricting all rights from anyone NOT a white male, that he managed to shave 200 years off the state.

“Look how young our state looks. And as you know, we in Idaho like them young.”

In a speech given to a large group of white men, Little said this:

“Behold the wondrous state of Idaho, where the clocks seem to have wound themselves back to the year 1824. No, you haven’t stumbled upon a secret DeLorean or a wormhole in the space-time continuum. This is simply Idaho, a land where modernity takes a backseat, and women’s rights are as rare as a UFO sighting in the Gem State.

Picture this: you wake up in your quaint Idahoan abode, ready to face the day in your bonnet and petticoats, only to realize that your rights as a woman have vanished quicker than a pioneer’s covered wagon disappearing into the sunset.

Yes, my friends, welcome to a place where the laws seem to be written by folks who think the suffragette movement is just a myth perpetuated by future history textbooks. Idaho, where the women’s rights movement didn’t just hit a roadblock, it took a sharp detour off a cliff.

In this whimsical land of potatoes and patriarchy, it’s as if the calendar stopped dead in its tracks over a century ago. You half-expect to see people bartering with pelts and trading beads for goods. But no, instead you witness a legislative session where women’s rights are on the chopping block faster than you can say “manifest destiny.”

Let’s talk about voting rights, shall we? While the rest of the nation is busy discussing the nuances of democracy in the 21st century, Idaho has seemingly transported itself to an era where women’s voices were as muffled as a stagecoach on a dusty trail. In this delightful throwback, the powers-that-be decided that maybe, just maybe, women shouldn’t have too much say in who gets to steer the ship of state.

And don’t even get me started on reproductive rights. While the rest of the country is embroiled in debates about bodily autonomy and reproductive health, Idaho has seemingly decided that it’s high time to dust off those archaic laws from the 19th century. Because, you know, who needs progress when you can have moral indignation and outdated morality instead?

But fear not, intrepid time-travelers! Despite the amusing (or infuriating) resemblance to a history textbook come to life, there’s hope yet for the fairer sex in the land of potatoes. After all, even the most stubborn of time loops eventually come to an end.

In the meantime, let’s embrace the absurdity of it all. Living in Idaho is like living in the year 1824, where women’s rights are as elusive as a sasquatch sighting in the Sawtooth Mountains. So, grab your bonnets and your sense of humor, fellow travelers, for the journey promises to be as bewildering as it is bizarre. Welcome to Idaho, where progress takes a backseat and the past is alive and kicking – whether you like it or not.”