Trump Declares Plan to Reopen Azkaban, Citing Threat of ‘Dark Magic’ in Opposition
President Donald J. Trump announced today his intention to reopen the prison Azkaban, asserting that those opposing his administration are under the influence of “dark
Republicans Demand Apology After Trump Caught Sleeping at Pope’s Funeral: “See? He Sleeps Next to Melania!”
Republicans are calling on Democrats to retract years of speculation about the state of Donald and Melania Trump’s marriage after video footage surfaced showing the
Pete Hegseth Accidentally Scribbles Top Secret War Plans on TGI Fridays Receipt After One Too Many Double Berry Mojitos
In what Pentagon officials are calling “an unhelpful but somehow completely on-brand incident,” Trump ally and White House “special military advisor” Pete Hegseth reportedly accidentally
Democrats Unveil Bold 12-Point Plan to Announce Future Plans to Possibly Consider a Plan to Stop Trump
In a triumphant display of vague ambition and master-level PowerPoint transitions, the Democratic National Committee proudly announced a new 12-Point Plan to Announce a Plan
Vice President JD Vance Fumbles Trophy, Claims Lack of Prior Trophy Experience
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Vice President JD Vance found himself at the center of a viral moment after dramatically fumbling the Ohio State Buckeyes’ championship trophy
Most Americans Now Wish They Were Elon Musk’s Kids — So They’d Never Have to See Him
In a shocking display of national unity, a recent poll revealed that 78% of Americans now wish they were Elon Musk’s children, citing one main
