JD Vance Licks Greenland, Claims It for Trump
In a bold display of foreign policy meets freezer burn, Vice President JD Vance traveled to Greenland, knelt down, gave the ice a hearty lick,
Elon Musk Asked to Point to Tesla Bot to Show Where Protestors Hurt Him
“Right here,” he sniffled, tapping the robot’s chest. “Right in the innovation.” In a moment that had Capitol Hill staffers fighting back giggles and secondhand
GOP Officials Sound Alarm Over Eggplant-Shaped Missiles After Reading Additional Texts
Washington, D.C. — In what can only be described as a stunning blend of national security panic and digital illiteracy, several prominent GOP officials have
Trump Outraged by “Ugly” Portrait in His Bathroom, Turns Out It Was Just a Mirror
In a furious rant early Tuesday morning, former President Donald Trump demanded the immediate removal of what he called a “disgusting, horrible, totally unfair” portrait
Pete Hegseth Launches New Site ‘WhiskeyLeaks’
“It’s not a leak if you shout it into a whiskey glass,” says Hegseth. In what Pentagon officials are calling “a bold reinterpretation of the
Trump Finally Reveals Dark Childhood Trauma Behind Plastic Straw Ban
In a shocking revelation that has rocked the political landscape, former President Donald J. Trump has finally admitted why he was so passionate about banning
