Geneva, Switzerland – Swiss tourism professionals got the bad news yesterday that the Geneva Convention, the world’s oldest and largest trade show devoted to war crimes, has been moved to Las Vegas for the next three years.

“Geneva has been good to us, but Vegas made us an offer that we just couldn’t refuse,” said Marty Higginbottom, Secretary-General of ABUSE (Alliance of Businesses United for Smiting Evil), the leading trade organization for the war crimes industry. “The war crimes industry is going through a transitional period and we thought that a change of venue would help to put things into perspective. Besides, now we can go see Penn and Teller, and the Vegas hookers are a helluva lot better looking than the ones in Switzerland.”

Herv Stolz, the Las Vegas city council member who masterminded the successful effort to get the convention site moved, was ecstatic. “This is great news!” said Mr. Stolz. “From now on when POWs are abused or war crimes are committed the first thing you’ll hear invoked is ‘The Las Vegas Convention.’ Man, you can’t buy that kind of publicity”