In a surprising turn of events, George Santos, the recently expelled congressman, is thrilled about his newfound freedom from the shackles of Capitol Hill. While most politicians would be devastated by such a setback, Santos has embraced the opportunity to focus on more important things in life—like family, cooking, and, of course, the impending federal prison sentence.

In an exclusive interview, Santos revealed, “I always thought those congressional debates were just a warm-up for the real challenge—whipping up a gourmet meal in a prison cell. Who needs C-SPAN when you can have a cooking show in the big house?”

Santos, known for his charisma on the campaign trail, now plans to channel that charm into becoming the Gordon Ramsay of the prison kitchen. “I’ve been practicing my ‘idiot sandwich’ routine for months,” he joked, referring to one of Ramsay’s famous outbursts. “It’s all about finding the right balance between bipartisan cooperation and adding just the right amount of spice to the political pot.”

When asked about his family, Santos beamed with pride. “I never had time for them when I was in Congress. Now, I can be the daddy I always wanted to be—the one who’s home for dinner every night, even if it’s just a tray of prison cafeteria mystery meat.”

In a bizarre twist, Santos has already started drafting a cookbook titled “Cooking Behind Bars: Recipes for the Politically Incorrect Palate.” The book promises a unique blend of family-friendly recipes and survival tips for navigating the ins and outs of federal prison life.

“I want to show the world that even if you’ve been expelled from Congress, life can still be a feast of possibilities,” Santos declared, holding up a makeshift kitchen apron made from his old campaign banners.

While many are scratching their heads at Santos’ unconventional response to his expulsion, he remains undeterred. “They say when one door closes, another one opens. In my case, that door is steel, and it’s clanging shut behind me as I enter the world of culinary chaos and federal fun. Bon appétit, America!”