“Happy birthday, my eternal wingman!” Sarah exclaimed, tapping her phone screen with glee. “You’ve been catfishing potential suitors for a decade, and you still have a few years to go!” The charm of the photo worked wonders. Several dozen men had been captivated by its timeless allure, leading to first dates in dimly lit bars...
The 2024 Game Awards has officially changed format following this years debacle that upset viewers and developers alike. Geoff Keighley creator and producer of the Game Awards gave a statement earlier today announcing the new format. “We at the game awards take feedback seriously and so moving forward we will be changing our format to...
Todd Howard and his Leather Jacket have filed for divorce after 5 years of marriage The Leather Jacket cited “irreconcilable differences” as the cause for divorce, according to documents obtained by BROKEN NEWZ that were filed with Montgomery County Court on December 11th. There was no date of separation listed. Leather Jacket is seeking Leather...
A recent poll has revealed that the recent Republican debate in Alabama was a battle of the yawns, as Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, former United Nations Ambassador Nikki Haley, biotech entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy, and former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie were all equally boring. It seems the only thing they debated successfully was who could...
The wait is finally over! Tesla started making deliveries of its long-awaited Cybertruck last week to a small audience inside an underground bunker at their Austin, TX headquarters. Although it’s been 4 years since the unveiling of the Cybertruck, much has changed with the vehicle and the landscape of America. With doomsday approaching, Cyberpreppers are...
House Leader Mike Johnson has proposed an unconventional idea to make January 6 riot footage more palatable for Republicans. In a recent press conference, Johnson declared that blurring faces on the infamous footage would make it easier for GOP members to, well, enjoy the scenes without feeling conflicted. The Louisiana congressman, known for his outside-the-box...
Former President Donald Trump has declared that he has transcended the laws of physics and is now officially immune to the constraints of the physical world. In a press conference that left journalists scratching their heads, Trump confidently announced, “I am no longer bound by the laws of physics. I’m like a superhero, folks. Call...
In a surprising turn of events, George Santos, the recently expelled congressman, is thrilled about his newfound freedom from the shackles of Capitol Hill. While most politicians would be devastated by such a setback, Santos has embraced the opportunity to focus on more important things in life—like family, cooking, and, of course, the impending federal...
In a surprising turn of celestial events, former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger was taken aback upon his arrival in heaven to find it not quite the pearly gates and fluffy clouds he had envisioned. Instead, he was welcomed by a rather toasty atmosphere, with celestial flames flickering in the distance. Reports suggest that Kissinger,...
Washington, DC – Marjorie Taylor Greene today denounced the Biden Administration for having done nothing to avert the extinction of the dinosaurs. Senator Mitch McConnell, of Kentucky, ranking member on the Senate Dinosaur Extinction Oversight Panel, says that the Biden Administration came into office with no clear plan for dealing with nuclear-winter-causing giant meteors. “The...