Donald Trump has unveiled his latest product: the Trump Timepiece™. This revolutionary watch has promised to redefine how we perceive time, not by telling it accurately, but by telling you why all other watches are complete and total failures. At a flashy press conference in Mar-a-Lago, Trump declared, “I’ve got the best watch, folks. The...
Beijing, China – In an unprecedented and heartwarming show of camaraderie and self-care, the world’s most notorious SMS scammers have decided to put their work on hold to enjoy a week-long gaming binge of the newly released Black Myth: Wukong. The scam industry, usually known for its relentless pursuit of unsuspecting smartphone users with fake...
Washington, D.C. – In a series of events that has captivated the White House staff, President Joe Biden has found himself in a battle of wits with a formidable opponent: the TV remote. With Vice President Kamala Harris hitting the campaign trail, the Commander-in-Chief is left to navigate the treacherous waters of modern technology solo,...
In what was initially thought to be a major cyber breakthrough, Iranian hackers recently claimed to have successfully breached the email account of former U.S. President Donald Trump. However, instead of uncovering state secrets or international conspiracies, the hackers found themselves in a bizarre situation—Trump’s entire email history consisted of just one message, forwarded thousands...
In a bold and highly questionable move, Sticker Mule has announced an unprecedented show of support for former President Donald Trump. The company is now offering half-price discounts on MAGA hats and Nazi flags for customers who use the promo code #letsgobrandon at checkout. In a press release that left many scratching their heads, Sticker...
Sam Bankman-Fried has been sentenced to 25 years in prison today. A sentence that could be reduced with good behavior. Bankman-Fried, 32, was convicted in November of fraud and conspiracy — a dramatic fall from a crest of success that included a Super Bowl advertisement and celebrity endorsements from stars like quarterback Tom Brady, basketball...
Kang the Conqueror, the notorious time-traveling villain, has been handed a cosmic-sized sentence of 400 hours of community service for his laundry list of misdeeds, including kidnapping Avengers, obliterating Washington D.C., destroying his own kingdom, and being generally unpleasant. The judge, presumably tired of Kang’s grandiose theatrics, decided that instead of ruling entire timelines, he...
The Weather Channel has just been picked up for yet another season of everyone’s favorite show The Weather. Fans of the hit series were overjoyed to hear that their daily dose of meteorological excitement will continue, and the network is gearing up for a season that promises to be even stormier than the last. It...
The 2024 Game Awards has officially changed format following this years debacle that upset viewers and developers alike. Geoff Keighley creator and producer of the Game Awards gave a statement earlier today announcing the new format. “We at the game awards take feedback seriously and so moving forward we will be changing our format to...