In a world where financial wizardry meets unemployment chic, a growing trend is taking the internet by storm. Thousands of...
The Opinion Pages
New Evidence Shows Donner Party Victims of High Protein Diet
Documents recently discovered by historians at Stanford University reveal that members of the famed Donner Party did not eat their...
George Santos Happy He Can Spend More Time On Things Like Family, Cooking, and Federal Prison
In a surprising turn of events, George Santos, the recently expelled congressman, is thrilled about his newfound freedom from the...
In Food
EggNog Votes American’s 8th Favorite Nog
In a stunning turn of events, the highly prestigious Nog Institute of America has just released its annual Nog Rankings,...
Fruity Revelation: Gen Z Discover Only Ingredient in Fruit Is More Fruit
Gen Z is reeling from a discovery that has left them questioning the very essence of their favorite snacks. Brace...
In Fashion & Style, Lifestyle, Main
Girl Wishes Happy Birthday to 10-Year-Old Dating Profile Picture
“Happy birthday, my eternal wingman!” Sarah exclaimed, tapping her phone screen with glee. “You’ve been catfishing potential suitors for a...
President-Elect Trump Spends Christmas Claiming Gifts with “Mine!” Methodology
Mar-a-Lago, Florida — In what observers are calling a “bold and festive display of manifest destiny,” President-elect Donald Trump reportedly...
House Ethics Committee Shocked to Discover Matt Gaetz’s Complete Lack of Ethics
The House Ethics Committee has concluded that former Congressman Matt Gaetz possesses absolutely no ethics whatsoever. This finding comes after...
White House Cleaning Staff Already Dreading Possible Trump Return: “We Just Got the Stains Out”
Washington, D.C. — As political pundits speculate on a potential return to the White House by Donald Trump, the cleaning...
In Lifestyle, Main, Technology
Crypto Investors Celebrate as Bitcoin ‘Bounces Back’ to Half of What They Lost Last Year
“The comeback is real!” tweets a hopeful millionaire-turned-Uber driver. Crypto enthusiasts are in high spirits this week as Bitcoin surged...
Biden Pardons Trump for Pardoning Family Member by Pardoning Family Member
America Stunned by 4D Chess Move Washington, D.C. — In a political maneuver that has left both cable news pundits...
White House Democrats Report Surge in Arm and Wrist Pain Amid Intense Finger-Pointing Epidemic
Washington, D.C. — A baffling epidemic of arm and wrist pain has gripped Democrats in and around the White House,...
President-Elect Trump Spends Christmas Claiming Gifts with “Mine!” Methodology
Mar-a-Lago, Florida — In what observers are calling a “bold and festive display of manifest destiny,” President-elect Donald Trump reportedly...
House Ethics Committee Shocked to Discover Matt Gaetz’s Complete Lack of Ethics
The House Ethics Committee has concluded that former Congressman Matt Gaetz possesses absolutely no ethics whatsoever. This finding comes after...
White House Cleaning Staff Already Dreading Possible Trump Return: “We Just Got the Stains Out”
Washington, D.C. — As political pundits speculate on a potential return to the White House by Donald Trump, the cleaning...
In Lifestyle, Main, Technology
Crypto Investors Celebrate as Bitcoin ‘Bounces Back’ to Half of What They Lost Last Year
“The comeback is real!” tweets a hopeful millionaire-turned-Uber driver. Crypto enthusiasts are in high spirits this week as Bitcoin surged...
Biden Pardons Trump for Pardoning Family Member by Pardoning Family Member
America Stunned by 4D Chess Move Washington, D.C. — In a political maneuver that has left both cable news pundits...
White House Democrats Report Surge in Arm and Wrist Pain Amid Intense Finger-Pointing Epidemic
Washington, D.C. — A baffling epidemic of arm and wrist pain has gripped Democrats in and around the White House,...