The wait is finally over! Tesla started making deliveries of its long-awaited Cybertruck last week to a small audience inside an underground bunker at their Austin, TX headquarters. Although it’s been 4 years since the unveiling of the Cybertruck, much has changed with the vehicle and the landscape of America. With doomsday approaching, Cyberpreppers are queuing up in small numbers to get their own Cybertruck before the bottom falls out.

While many felt this was an excruciating delay, others heralded it as the boldest and most brilliant marketing move that maverick owner and chief tweeter Elon Musk has made thus far. The Tesla Cybertruck will be the go-to vehicle for the coming apocalypse, said Elon Musk on his coveted platform X. One thing is clear about the Cybertruck: the avant-garde vehicle, draped in bulletproof stainless steel and glass, is poised to become a sanctuary on wheels as it cruises through the unpredictable terrain of what some anticipate will be a bullet-riddled, post-apocalyptic America.

Head Cybertruck engineer and Teslavangelist Richard Butt stated, “We understand that time is of the essence. The Cybertruck isn’t just a vehicle; it’s a statement—a statement that even in the face of impending doom, style and innovation prevail.”

The Cybertruck will come in three packages. The base model, starting at “You can’t afford this, why are you even entertaining it?” will include a single motor, a 50-caliber machine gun turret, and a whopping 320-mile range. The most advanced package, nicknamed the “Omega Package,” will offer an optional flamethrower, grenade launcher, and flashbang package so you can escape the hordes of whatever is left in the wasteland after we destroy our country in 2024.

Whether the Cybertruck is merely a genius marketing move ahead of our impending doom or gearing up to be the symbol of survival and transportation in a shattered world broken by the darkness that envelops us all is yet to be seen, but we eagerly await what is yet to come. So, as the Cybertruck hits the streets well ahead of schedule, it invites the question: Is this an ordinary vehicle launch, or is it a calculated response to a world on the brink? Buckle up because the ride just got a whole lot more interesting, and the Cybertruck is leading the charge into the chaos that lies ahead.