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- Category: A Good Appetite
- Thousands of Republican Women Devour Their Own Young to Prove They Too Don’t Need Children
- Donald Trump Jr. Launches New TikTok Account Featuring Stray Cat and Dog Recipes: First Recipe, Tabby Cat Casserole
- IDPL Sues JD Vance for Ruining Donuts’ Sexy Reputation After Awkward Campaign Stop
- McDonald’s Faces Unprecedented Sales Drop as Nation Realizes Diarrhea Isn’t Fun
- New Evidence Shows Donner Party Victims of High Protein Diet
- Category: Arts
- Category: Economy
- Category: Entertainment
- Category: Family
- Boomer Thanksgiving in Crisis as Trump Victory Leaves Family With Nothing to Scream About
- Lesbian Online Relationship Ends Terribly When Both Men Meet
- Studies Show That White Girls Spend 17% of Their Lives Thinking About Cutting Their Bangs
- The Great Annual Mass Text Extravaganza: Millions Anticipate the ‘Merry Xmas’ from Family
- Category: Fashion & Style
- Category: Food
- Category: From The Archives
- Category: Health
- Category: History
- Category: Lifestyle
- Ban of TikTok Will Force Thousands To Find Other Websites To Convince You That You Can Make A Watermelon Look and Taste Like Steak
- Crypto Investors Celebrate as Bitcoin ‘Bounces Back’ to Half of What They Lost Last Year
- Spokesman-Review’s Alexandra Duggan Faces Career Crisis: Talent, Not Affairs, Needed for Success
- Google Reports Highest-Ever Search Term Following Trump’s Reelection: “Holy Fucking Shit What Just Happened Did He Get Reelected How Do I Buy a House in Canada?”
- Donald Trump Watch Only Tells You Why Other Watches Can’t Tell Time
- Elon Musk Just Snatched the Top Spot on Forbes’ Creepiest Billionaire List—Mark Zuckerberg’s Tears are Digital
- Georgia Governor Signs Controversial ‘Fetal Self-Defense’ Bill into Law
- Democrats Unveil Bold Plan to Win Back the South by 2076: “We’re in No Rush,” Says DNC
- Presidents’ Day Now Will Add Asterisk To Signify “MOST” Presidents
- Kang the Conqueror Sentenced to Community Service: Attempts to Speed Clean with 400 Kangs Foiled by His Younger Self
- The Weather Channel Renewed for Another Season of Weather
- Florida Chamber of Commerce Furious at Rockstar Games
- World Glances Up From Phones, Shrugs, and Resumes Scrolling
- Category: Main
- Trump Determinded to Make ‘Mericans as Dumb As Him, Or More Dumber
- Trump’s First Executive Order: Granting Himself A Kagillion More Executive Orders
- National Flags to Fly at Half-Flaccid for the Next Four Years
- President-Elect Trump Spends Christmas Claiming Gifts with “Mine!” Methodology
- House Ethics Committee Shocked to Discover Matt Gaetz’s Complete Lack of Ethics
- White House Cleaning Staff Already Dreading Possible Trump Return: “We Just Got the Stains Out”
- Biden Pardons Trump for Pardoning Family Member by Pardoning Family Member
- White House Democrats Report Surge in Arm and Wrist Pain Amid Intense Finger-Pointing Epidemic
- Earth Moves to 3rd Most Hostile Living Conditions of all Planets in our Galaxy
- Trump: Confident New Cabinet Picks Will Last “Much Longer” Before Turning on Him
- Countdown to the End of the Donald Trump Presidency
- GOP Assures Voters: Home Depot Co-Founder Bernard Marcus’s 6 Votes for Trump ‘Absolutely Secure’ Posthumously
- Trump and Vance Issue Heartfelt Apology to Female Voters; Admit They Had “No Idea” Women Could Actually Vote
- GOP Staffers Privately Worried About Trump’s Cognatives Ability to Sexually Assault in 2025
- Gov. Ron DeSantis Declares Trump Bible as Perfect Emergency Toilet Paper Amid Hurricane Milton Crisis
- Ryan Walters Proposes Mandatory Trump Blow-Up Dolls to Strengthen National Morals
- Melania Trump Breaks Silence: ‘Legalize Abortion for Any Porn Star My Husband Impregnates’
- Pete Rose Banned from Heaven After Being Caught Betting on His Own Dead Pool
- Breaking: J.D. Vance’s Campaign Strategists to Replace Him with Puppet for Tuesday Debate to Make Him Look More Human
- J.D. Vance Announces New Campaign Strategy: Delivering Speeches from Behind Bushes to Appear ‘Less Creepy’
- DeSantis Declares ‘State of Emergency’ for His Poll Numbers
- RFK Jr. Hires Elite Street Hypnotists to Erase His Name from the Presidential Ballot
- J.D. Vance Claims He Has Plenty Of Time to Think Policy as He Eats Lunch Alone Daily on the Campaign Trail
- Trump Declares Insanity Defense: “I’m Crazy, So Let Me Go!”
- Trump’s Arlington Cemetery Photo Op Cut Short as 400,000 Veterans Turn Over In Their Graves
- Chinese SMS Scammers Take a Well-Deserved Break to Play Black Myth: Wukong During Release Week
- Fox News Hosts Reassure Viewers: “It All Makes Sense in the Original German”
- Mike Lindell Loses to 12-Year-Old at DNC, But Left-Wing Media Ignores His Victory Over 6-Year-Old in Parking Lot Brawl
- Trump Outraged by Obama’s Joke About His Penis
- George Santos to Plead Guilty Today, But Claims Prosecutors Won’t See Him—Because He’s Now Invisible!
- J.D. Vance Thinks It’s Unfair to Compare Him to J.D. Vance: “Stop Holding Me to My Own Standards!”
- President Biden’s Newest Challenge: The TV Remote
- Iranian Hackers Shocked as Trump’s Email Reveals Only a Single Forwarded Message
- Trump Criticizes Tim Walz for Not Wearing Makeup: ‘How Can You Run a Country Without a Good Foundation?’
- JD Vance Clarifies Controversial Comments: “Only Meant to Insult UGLY Women”
- J.D. Vance Proposes “No Couch, No Vote” Policy to Save America’s Sofas
- J.D. Vance and Donald Trump’s Pronunciation Policy: A New Criterion for Presidential Eligibility?
- Republicans Get Crafty: The Post-Biden Sign Revolution
- Sticker Mule Shows Support for Trump with “Special” Discount: Half-Price MAGA Hats and Nazi Flags
- Biden and Trump Demand Leading Candidate ‘None of the Above’ Be Included in Their Next Debate
- Trump Hush Money Trial Could Hurt National Enquirer’s Reputation as Trusted News Source
- Idaho Accidentally Sets Clocks Back 200 Years
- Sam Bankman-Fried May Now Trade “BitchCOIN”
- Trump’s Lawyers Ask Judge if Business Ban Will Still Allow Him to Commit Fraud in New York
- Trump Clears the Air on His Lavish Lavatories
- Trump Supporters’ Bank Accounts Feel the ‘Yuge’ Sting: As they are Ordered to Pay 83 Million After Trump’s Defamation Fiasco
- Pro-Campaigners Demand DeSantis’ Presidental Run Must Go Full Term
- Unsealed Documents from Jeffrey Epstein Case Hang Themselves Hours Before Being Released.
- Trump Proclaims Melania Must Be Buried With Him Upon His Death Unless He Can Find Someone Younger and Hotter
- Scientists Discover 98% of Those Feeling Imposter Syndrome, are Imposters
- Trump Asks If Colorado is One Of The States He Can Find On The Map
- Rudy Giuliani Plans on Suing Himself To Cover Defamation Lawsuit Loss
- Trump’s Impeachment Envy: Worries Biden Might Out-Impeach Him
- The Game Awards Changes Format to Advertisements Only in 2024
- Leather Jacket Files for Divorce from Todd Howard
- New Poll Shows DeSantis, Haley, Ramaswamy, and Christie All Equally Boring In Debate
- Tesla’s Cybertruck Named Official Vehicle for The End of The World
- Mike Johnson Says Blurred Faces Will Make It Easier For Republicans To Masturbate To Jan 6 Footage
- Trump Claims He Is Immuned To The Laws Of Physics
- Henry Kissinger Taken Back To How Hot And Flamey Heaven Is
- Marjorie Taylor Greene Say Biden Did Nothing to Stop Dinosaur Extinction
- Broken Newz Returns After 18 Year Nap
- Category: Politics
- Category: Science
- Category: Sports
- Category: Technology
- Category: Travel
- Category: Uncategorized